{
 "id": "ambrose-bierce/a-competitor",
 "title": "A Competitor",
 "ordinal": null,
 "subtitle": null,
 "poet": "Ambrose Bierce",
 "poet_slug": "ambrose-bierce",
 "language": "en",
 "book": "The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume V",
 "book_slug": "collected-works-v",
 "book_kind": "volume",
 "sequence": 15,
 "container": "Black Beetles in Amber",
 "epigraph": null,
 "first_published": {
  "year": 1911,
  "venue": "The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume V (1911)",
  "note": "Taken from Volume V of the Neale collected edition (copyright 1911). That is the printing this text comes from, not the poem's first appearance: the volume's own preface states that most of its verses are republished from newspapers and periodicals of the Pacific Coast, and which of them printed this poem first has not been established here.",
  "uncertain": true,
  "sources": [
   "https://archive.org/details/collectedworksof05bierrich"
  ]
 },
 "source": {
  "kind": "standard-ebooks",
  "repo": "standardebooks/ambrose-bierce_poetry",
  "file": "black-beetles-in-amber.xhtml",
  "upstream": [
   "https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/4793",
   "https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/12658",
   "https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/12977",
   "https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/15599",
   "https://archive.org/details/collectedworksof04bierrich",
   "https://archive.org/details/collectedworksof05bierrich",
   "https://archive.org/details/collectedworksof08bierrich",
   "https://archive.org/details/shapesofclay00bier",
   "https://archive.org/details/blackbeetlesinam00bier",
   "https://archive.org/details/literarycalifor05mighgoog",
   "https://archive.org/details/cali07webb"
  ],
  "rights": "public domain (SE dedication; underlying text pre-1931)"
 },
 "verification": {
  "level": "structural-only",
  "last_checked": "2026-08-20"
 },
 "stats": {
  "n_lines": 40,
  "n_stanzas": 5,
  "n_parts": 0,
  "longest_line_chars": 38,
  "max_indent": 0
 },
 "site_ready": true,
 "parts": [],
 "stanzas": [
  [
   {
    "text": "Mrs. Frona Eunice Wait,",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "My legs are not so very straight;",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "My spine, I’m sorry to observe,",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Maintains a most rebellious curve;",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "My neck is skinny, and my bust",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Would justify a husband’s trust.",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "But papa thinks his Mary Ann",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Is built upon a gorgeous plan.",
    "indent": 0
   }
  ],
  [
   {
    "text": "Mrs. Frona Eunice Wait,",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "I take the liberty to state",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "That Venuses would go on strike",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "If ordered to be all alike;",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "For some are made for this, and some",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "For that⁠—you take ’em as they come.",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "But papa says: “My Mary Ann",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Knocks out the whole damn caravan!”",
    "indent": 0
   }
  ],
  [
   {
    "text": "Mrs. Frona Eunice Wait,",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "They think in Greaserville I’m great⁠—",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "They say in Greaserville: “You bet",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "She’ll make them hens get up and get!",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "She’s just a bird!” So when I clout",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Myself in cheese-cloth you look out!",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "For papa says: “My Mary Ann",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Has win whenever she has ran.”",
    "indent": 0
   }
  ],
  [
   {
    "text": "Mrs. Frona Eunice Wait,",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "I’m giving you the business straight:",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Make any standards that you please",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Beneath my cloth I’m just the cheese.",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "I care not what the artists say⁠—",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "I’m in it and I’m in to stay.",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "For papa says: “If Mary Ann",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Will advertise she’ll get a man.”",
    "indent": 0
   }
  ],
  [
   {
    "text": "Mrs. Frona Eunice Wait,",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Head Venus-herder of the State,",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Round up your girls. But Frona, dear",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "I think it very, very queer",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "That you yourself do not compete.",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Are you too plump or too petite?",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "My papa says: “Why, Mary Ann,",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "She’s from Beërsheba to Dan!”",
    "indent": 0
   }
  ]
 ]
}