A False Alarm

When Gertrude Atherton pronounced the ladies
Of fair Manhattan hideous as Hades⁠—
In eyes no splendor, and in cheeks no roses,
And, O ye godlings! rudimentary noses⁠—
To pass a bad half-hour before their glasses,
Straight to their dressing-rooms ran dames and lasses,
Who, still dissenting from her curst appraisal,
Grew more pugnacious, but not less pugnasal.
Ladies, be calm: there’s nothing to distress you⁠—
The Sacred Englishman will rise and bless you.
No noses⁠—none to speak of⁠—is alarming,
But that you can’t speak through them⁠—that is charming!