{
 "id": "ambrose-bierce/a-question-of-eligibility",
 "title": "A Question of Eligibility",
 "ordinal": null,
 "subtitle": null,
 "poet": "Ambrose Bierce",
 "poet_slug": "ambrose-bierce",
 "language": "en",
 "book": "Black Beetles in Amber",
 "book_slug": "black-beetles-in-amber",
 "book_kind": "volume",
 "sequence": null,
 "container": "Black Beetles in Amber",
 "epigraph": null,
 "first_published": {
  "year": 1892,
  "venue": "Black Beetles in Amber (1892)",
  "note": "First located printing is this volume; an earlier periodical printing has not been established.",
  "uncertain": false,
  "sources": [
   "https://archive.org/details/blackbeetlesinam00bier"
  ]
 },
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  "file": "black-beetles-in-amber.xhtml",
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   "https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/12658",
   "https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/12977",
   "https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/15599",
   "https://archive.org/details/collectedworksof04bierrich",
   "https://archive.org/details/collectedworksof05bierrich",
   "https://archive.org/details/collectedworksof08bierrich",
   "https://archive.org/details/shapesofclay00bier",
   "https://archive.org/details/blackbeetlesinam00bier",
   "https://archive.org/details/literarycalifor05mighgoog",
   "https://archive.org/details/cali07webb"
  ],
  "rights": "public domain (SE dedication; underlying text pre-1931)"
 },
 "verification": {
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  "last_checked": "2026-08-20",
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  [
   {
    "text": "It was a bruised and battered chap",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "The victim of some dire mishap,",
    "indent": 2
   },
   {
    "text": "Who sat upon a rock and spent",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "His breath in this ungay lament:",
    "indent": 0
   }
  ],
  [
   {
    "text": "“Some wars⁠—I’ve frequent heard of such⁠—",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Has beat the everlastin’ Dutch!",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "But never fight was fit by man",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "To equal this which has began",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "In our (I’m in it, if you please)",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Academy of Sciences.",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "For there is various gents belong",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "To it which go persistent wrong,",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "And loving the debate’s delight",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Calls one another names at sight.",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Their disposition, too, accords",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "With fighting like they all was lords!",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Sech impulses should be withstood:",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "’Tis scientific to be good.",
    "indent": 0
   }
  ],
  [
   {
    "text": "“ ’Twas one of them, one night last week,",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Rose up his figure for to speak:",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "‘Please, Mr. Chair, I’m holding here",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "A resolution which, I fear,",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Some ancient fossils that has bust",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Their cases and shook off their dust",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "To sit as Members here will find",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Unpleasant, not to say unkind.’",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "And then he read it every word,",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "And silence fell on all which heard.",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "That resolution, wild and strange,",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Proposed a fundamental change,",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Which was that idiots no more",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Could join us as they had before!",
    "indent": 0
   }
  ],
  [
   {
    "text": "“No sooner was he seated than",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "The members rose up, to a man.",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Each chap was primed with a reply",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "And tried to snatch the Chairman’s eye.",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "They stomped and shook their fists in air,",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "And, O, what words was uttered there!",
    "indent": 0
   }
  ],
  [
   {
    "text": "“The Chair was silent, but at last",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "He hove up his proportions vast",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "And stilled them tumults with a look",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "By which the undauntedest was shook.",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "He smiled sarcastical and said:",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "‘If Argus was the Chair, instead",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Of me, he’d lack enough of eyes",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Each orator to recognize!",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "And since, denied a hearing, you",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Might maybe undertake to do",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Each other harm before you cease,",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "I’ve took some steps to keep the peace:",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "I’ve ordered out⁠—alas, alas,",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "That Science e’er to such a pass",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Should come!⁠—I’ve ordered out⁠—the gas!’",
    "indent": 0
   }
  ],
  [
   {
    "text": "“O if a tongue or pen of fire",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Was mine I could not tell entire",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "What the ensuin’ actions was!",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "When swollered up in darkness’ jaws",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "We fit and fit and fit and fit,",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "And everything we felt we hit!",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "We gouged, we scratched and we pulled hair,",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "And O, what words was uttered there!",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "And when at last the day dawn came",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Three hundred Scientists was lame;",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Two hundred others couldn’t stand,",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "They’d been so careless handled, and",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "One thousand at the very least",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Was spread upon the floor deceased!",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "’Twere easy to exaggerate,",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "But lies is things I mortal hate.",
    "indent": 0
   }
  ],
  [
   {
    "text": "“Such, friends, is the disaster sad",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Which has befell the Cal. Acad.",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "And now the question is of more",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Importance than it was before:",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "Shall vacancies among us be",
    "indent": 0
   },
   {
    "text": "To idiots threw open free?”",
    "indent": 0
   }
  ]
 ]
}