The Genesis of Crime

God said, “Let there be Crime,” and the command
Brought Satan, leading Stoneman by the hand.
“Why, that’s Stupidity, not Crime,” said God⁠—
“Bring what I ordered.” Satan with a nod
Replied, “This is one element⁠—when I
The other⁠—Opportunity⁠—supply
In just equivalent, the two’ll affine
And in a chemical embrace combine
And Crime result⁠—for Crime can only be
Stupiditate of Opportunity.”
So leaving Stoneman (not as yet endowed
With soul) in special session on a cloud,
Nick to his sooty laboratory went,
Returning soon with t’other element.
“Here’s Opportunity,” he said, and put
Pen, ink, and paper down at Stoneman’s foot.
He seized them⁠—Heaven was filled with fires and thunders,
And Crime was added to Creation’s wonders!