The Coming Woman

Just look, ’tis a quarter past six, love⁠—
  And not even the fires are caught;
Well, you know I must be at the office⁠—
  But, as usual, the breakfast’ll be late.

Now hurry and wake up the children;
  And dress them as fast as you can;
“Poor dearies,” I know they’ll be tardy,
  Dear me, “what a slow, poky man!”

Have the tenderloin broiled nice and juicy⁠—
  Have the toast browned and buttered all right;
And be sure you settle the coffee:
  Be sure that the silver is bright.

When ready, just run up and call me⁠—
  At eight, to the office I go,
Lest poverty, grim, should overtake us⁠—
  “ ’Tis bread and butter,” you know.

The bottom from stocks may fall out,
  My bonds may get below par;
Then surely, I seldom could spare you
  A nickel, to buy a cigar.

All ready? Now, while I am eating,
  Just bring up my wheel to the door;
Then wash up the dishes; and, mind now.
  Have dinner promptly at four;

For to-night is our Woman’s Convention,
  And I am to speak first, you know⁠—
The men veto us in private,
  But in public they shout, “That’s so.”

So “bye-bye”⁠—In case of a rap, love,
  Before opening the door, you must look;
O! how could a civilized woman
  Exist, without a man cook.